Seeing the Light

I awoke to my youngest sister's excited squeals. I groaned and rolled over, trying to go back to sleep. "Merry Christmas Eve, Kate!" she kept saying as she jumped up and down on my bed. I looked up at the blinding light coming in through my window and coved my head. It was too early...alright it was 9:30...but still, I was tired, and I lingered in my bed trying to hold on to my last dream.

Eventually I gave up going back to sleep and joined the rest of my family in the kitchen.  She kept insisting it was time to open presents, and my mom kindly took her aside and explained that presents weren't opened until Christmas day. Liz still kept trying to get her way, but mom wasn't having it. There was talk of getting a few last minute items and dropping off gifts for friends of the family. I had a sour expression on my face as I skimmed the morning paper.  "What are you doing today, Kate?"  my father asked.  I gazed back and glumly replied, "I'm working."  I tried to think of a million excuses not to go in to work, but eventually, my responsible half won.

As I got ready for work, Mom could sense my frustration and she took me aside.  She gently told me that I could chose to be happy, and I could decided to do my best to serve people today. I brushed off the thought as sleepiness and the impending afternoon weighed heavily on my mind.  It was December 24th, and I wanted to spend it at home with my family who I rarely got to see anymore--since I'd gone away to school.

Nonetheless, I made it to work with not a moment to spare...literally.  Every single check stand was open.  I had never seen that, and I sighed as I went to clock in.  The day danced by slowly as we dealt with the many shoppers looking for last minute gifts.  Most of them were upset when they found out that we were sold out of almost every "hot ticket" item.  "Serves them right for waiting until the day before Christmas," snickered a few of my co-workers.  As I pushed a particularly heavy flat bed of merchandise, I kept feeling sorry for myself.  Several minutes later, a guest passed by me and wished me a very "Merry Christmas."  I stopped for a second and appreciated the greeting, but then got back to work as the store was literally a mad house. It was so busy that I  kept forgetting that it was Christmas Eve until I saw someone wearing a Santa hat or carrying a million rolls of wrapping paper down my freshly organized aisles-- knocking over all of my hard work.

Finally the store closed, and we were all anxious to get home.  Almost everyone was impatient and tired of looking at the many aisles that were littered with toys and wrapping paper.  We got off right around 8pm.  I got in my car, and was delighted to hear the Christmas music on the radio, and I sang along to the many new age Christmas songs, until "The First Noel" came on the radio and reminded me how many times I'd thought about 'me' today.

It sunk in.

All day in a store had made me think of the materialism of Christmas-- and the "me, me, me" mentality it can bring upon us--leaving us feeling empty and low. For the first time all day, I smiled as I thought of the true reason for the season. 

I started to notice all of the lovely lights on homes and Christmas trees as I drove into my neighborhood.  I wondered why people put lights on their homes and trees.  That was easy; It could symbolize the Light of Christ-- or perhaps the star that led the wise men and the shepherds to Bethlehem on that holy Christmas eve so many years ago. Then something that I'd never thought about occured to me.  If the lights represented the star that led those who wanted to come unto Christ in Bethlahem, by putting lights on our trees and homes, we are in a sense saying, "Christ is within."  He lives within our homes and our hearts if we'll but accept him. More and more people think about the gifts, the tree, and all the decor rather than what we should be remembering-- We wouldn't be anything without the greatest Christmas gift of all--God's son Jesus Christ. 

image by

Upside Down...

I work at Target, and one of the things that I do is cashiering.  The other day, I was ringing a lady up, and I saw that she had the new Jack Johnson CD. I told her how much I liked him, and then I asked if if she was a fan. I expected her to say, no, it's for my grandson or something like that... Instead, she smiled and said "Actually, he's my nephew." 

WOW. 

Mind blown.

Love this song. Curious George reminds me of my little sister, Lizzie. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNlmn7vbXBQ

Love and Marriage

The last week of May, I got to go to Kentucky for a wedding.  Alex's older brother Kyle, was getting married. It was also my first time meeting Alex's family.  They were so much fun! Stuart with his "flirty face" and Hilary catching the bouquet and then tossing it to me. Alex and his mom dancing was fun, and I heard that his dad does a pretty mean air guitar. ;) What a fun family!

We've got More Bounce in California...

After battling ice, snow, and finals,  I am finally back home in Modesto!

It's nice to be able to wear short sleeve shirts again... and see the sun for that matter! Yay for sunny California!

I've mostly been helping my family with their many projects and helping to care for my little sisters.

Alex visited last weekend and met the family. :)  That was a really neat experience to have him here.  He was very sweet and made a great impression.

Well, now it's back to work!

The Pursuit of Happiness

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."

The last few weeks I've been on a constant quest to make myself truly happy.  I generally try to be a happy and optimistic person... but I also know life isn't perfect.  I've tried all kinds of things, and recently, I always feel like there's a little something missing. However, for the longest time, I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

I started off by learning more about myself... Such as my likes and dislikes.  I decided to make a list of silly little things that make me happy:

Kiwi Strawberry Snapple

Blue Raspberry Jolly Ranchers 

Hugs

Starburst Jelly Beans

Pictures of fun memories

Colorful sharpies

Minty gum

My HOT PINK laptop

Zupa's sandwiches

A nice text message

Sweat pants

Writing (blogs, news, etc.)

Meeting new people

Dancing around for no reason

Smiles from strangers
Sunshine and warm weather
Surprises
Good songs on the radio
Hot chocolate
A good book
Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream
Cookie dough
"Miss Me" jeans
My senior sweatshirt
"10 Things I Hate About You"
Cinnamon sugar or blueberry bagels
A song with clever lyrics
"My Life is Average"
Goldfish
Orange Juice
My 3 glow fish
Ted (my childhood teddy bear)
Belting the lyrics to a favorite musical

It was great to realize things that I like and that will make me momentarily happy.  That got me thinking though... what about when I'm not happy?  How do I make myself happy then?

Here are a few simple things to keep in mind:

You can't change a lot of things... so build a bridge and get over it!  It's easier said than done (believe me, I know),  but it's a lot healthier than holding on to a lot of unhappiness and negativity.

Negativity... is unattractive and unbecoming. Stay clear of it.

Mind your manners... A lot of times if we're having a bad day or something doesn't go the way we planned we take it out on people around us. This can make you look rude, but more importantly, it can ruin someone else's day.

Take a deep breath... Don't confront someone when you're angry or upset.  Wait to cool off.  Nine times out of ten, once you're calmed down, you'll regret the things you said and did while you were angry.

The Golden Rule... Sometimes we like to gossip or talk about others behind their backs... especially if we don't like someone or if we feel like we've been wronged. We're all guilty of this, but it doesn't make it right. If someone starts it, diffuse it by saying something nice about the person that is being talked about. Don't you hope someone would be courteous enough to do the same for you?

Mind your own bees wax.... You don't need to go looking for a reason to be angry or gossipy.

Learn from others' mistakes... Remember that time someone did or said something that tore your heart in two?  Don't do it to someone else in the future; That's called being a hypocrite.  We go through a lot of things so that we can be prepared to serve others in the future.  Don't make the same mistakes as those who hurt you.

Give the benefit of the doubt... A lot of times there are people around us who do things that hurt our feelings.  However, half the time, they aren't thinking, and years down the road you won't care anyway.

Staying happy, even when it's hard, and remembering the little things that keep us happy are both essential.  However, there is one sure way of being truly happy, and I was slightly embarrassed that I hadn't thought of it before.

It's so simple that it's sometimes easy to forget...


It's not all about me... After some fasting and praying a few Sundays ago, I came to several conclusions about what I was missing.  I was focusing on what made me happy...what made me feel good... what made me look good... I'd forgotten what I had been counciled by a wise friend to do... to go forth with great love and joy in my soul... to serve others.

The key to happiness isn't about my favorite flavor of jolly rancher or if the sun is shining today.  Though those are nice things, there's is so much more to it. It's about how I used my day. It needs to be about blessing the lives of others.  The thing that was missing was service.

In  Matthew 10:39 it says: "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it."

These videos are from the "Mormon Messages" YouTube site, and they are great reminders of what we need to be doing.


I've found that my quest is ongoing and that I will seek many things throughout my life.  However, I feel blessed with the knowledge that true happiness can only come through the Gospel of Jesus Christ and by following his council:

"As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you." -John 15:9-12

I don't know about you, but starting tomorrow I'm going to "wake up, and do something more." :)

Sophomore Year-- Video Blog!

Sophomore Year; So far so good!! @ Yahoo! Video

Bring it on 2010!

"Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family."

-Thomas S. Monson

The new year is seen a shining opportunity to refresh the page, turn over a new leaf, to start a new chapter in your life. It is customary on New Year's Eve to reflect on the previous year and to make any improvements.  


Since I was about fourteen, I have made a list of resolutions, and I carefully post each list on the bulletin board in my bedroom.  A small stack has accumulated over the years.  This year, I decided to reflect on the last several years rather than just 2009.  Several examples of past resolutions include: "Be on time to everything (FYI Seminary.)" "Be the kind of friend/companion I want to have."  "Try new things." "Delete my myspace." "Listen and learn more from Mom and Dad."

The idea of a fresh start and 5-10 new goals seems quite exciting at first.  However, a slap from a sibling and one alarm clock malfunction later, and those resolutions are going, going, and gone. 

Sure, you'll accomplish maybe 2-3 of the list, but what about the other 7-8?  Aren't they just as important?  Is there a surefire way to try and knock out 9-10 of your resolutions?  


Where there is a will, there is a way! This year, I made my usual list of ten resolutions.  However, I am not going to try and tackle them all at once.  Each is a stepping stone to one large goal or motto that I want to keep.  One of my favorite quotes is one by the Prophet Thomas S. Monson, and it reads:  

"Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family."

This simple quote embodies all that I wish to accomplish this year.  With joy, love, and an optimistic outlook, who is there to stop me?  NO ONE! 


BRING IT ON 2010!!

Welcome to Finals Week

I just keep waiting for the elephants to show up...

The Harold B. Lee library at BYU is a circus tonight... and I mean that quite literally.

Friday will mark our first "reading day" before finals. I can just smell the stress and desperation hanging heavily in the air.

Something is different.

Tables are full.

No light music greets my ears as I sit on the second floor in the history section.

The regularly hoppin' periodicals section which is known as a social haven is silent.

This is a bit freaky...

Just when I thought all hope was lost, the circus rolled into town.

I saw the monkeys- I was met with freshmen running around in Santa hats... dropping pens then making farting noises.

Tide rope walkers-Next, I felt like I was surrounded by the fifty million engaged couples that push their chairs together and attempt to cuddle. Look, I see a sign next to them! It reads: "Please don't feed the engaged couples, they will bite...or hold your hand." Man, I don't know what's worse...

Here are the tigers-Then note to my left the married Asian couple that fights in Chinese. The wife slaps her husband several times as he tries to move her computer. They then proceed to storm angrily in and out of the library.... over and over. Get over it people!

I'm in a quiet zone, and I keep busting up... probably embarrassing my boyfriend. Everyone turns their eyes to give me annoyed looks. I cover my laugh with a cough...

It's not my fault! I guess they don't know we're in the middle of a circus...

As my boyfriend and I were leaving he put on his HUGE coat. With me being a California... and it being 5 degrees outside... I put on my first two jackets. I then put my HUGE jacket on.I was so chubby, Chad had to put my backpack on me. Then we left....laughing....

And there you have it folks, the finale... the elephants. :)

The circus is leaving town...

Wow! Harold is on a role tonight!

Learning Life Lessons

In the past week, I have been looking for something meaningful to blog about. Something that has come up with several of my close friends is something that I myself went through last year. It was something I did not really address publicly, and I do not wish to do so at the present time. However, looking back over what seemed to be one of the gloomiest times of my life, I gained several valuable messages. One of them was a message that the most important thing to do in every bad situation is to take a step back and to see what you can learn.

Sometimes our closest friends are the ones that hurt us the most. They have the most power over us of any of our other friends. Letting someone in is hard to do. Watching them run out is even harder. However, when a bad situation arises, we need to learn from it. Pick ourselves back up and try to stand; Even when all you want to do is fall back to the floor. Let the wound heal, and meet other people. Most importantly, let it go. Forgive the wrong. Someday, when the time is right, they'll remember what they did. Maybe you'll be friends again... maybe not. Either way, you get what you take from it. So, take away a lesson in life and a learning experience.

In order to do this, maybe it's just time to pray about it. The Holy Spirit is the way to gain closure. The Spirit can give you closure when you are in your darkest hour.

He's a great friend.

Though these experiences are hard, and it seems like you might not ever get over them you will. These experiences make us who we are and shape our personalities. They give you gifts. Gifts range from compassion, empathy, knowledge, a listening ear, maturity, charity, and many others. Everyone gains unique insights and gifts.

So, if you're having a hard time, pray for strength and look for the silver linings. There's always at least one.

Party at our pad in Provo...

So, most people think the end of summer is a sad time. Not for us! BYU is the most amazing university in the world! Three weeks ago, I had the opportunity to move into my new apartment with five other amazing BYU students: Sarah Cluff, Elise Seniki, Susie Ingoldsby, Melissa Calkins, Sarah Duke, and me!

A picture's worth a thousand words

So, most of my summer consisted of working. However, I did have a few fun moments. A picture is worth a thousand words. So, here are some highlights from summer 2009. :)

KNIGHT'S FERRY WITH HYRUM

HORSEY- BLESSING

MELISSA CAME HOME FROM GERMANY

CALIFORNIA YSA CONFERENCE-- FRESNO

MARC ETCHEPARE- (METCH)

I ALSO HUNG OUT IN LAS VEGAS WITH JOSH, BUT WE DIDN'T TAKE MANY PICTURES. :(

Congratulations...

Yesterday, I was grocery shopping for my mom, and I decided to take my siblings with me. At the end of one errand, I let them each get a piece of candy. As we were walking out of the store I was stuffing Milky Way in my mouth, and I said to one of my sisters:

"I think I have a problem. I think I'm addicted to chocolate..."

She said in a very joking manner: "I'm so proud of you... you're admitting you have problem."

After this my youngest sibling pipes in and says "Congratulations, Kate!!"

Congratulations to me...

They're on a Mission...

So, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this blog seeing as this is a topic that is very close to my heart for more than one reason.

Most people reading this know that I’m a student at BYU and that BYU is a religious university. The majority of students that attend BYU are Latter-Day Saints or (as we are commonly referred to) Mormons. Something unique occurs every year as freshman years ends. All of the boys that are or are turning 19 years old turn in papers to church headquarters. Several weeks later, an envelope comes for the guy. This envelope contains where the guy is being “called.” For some missionaries, they stay in the United States and others are shipped out across the globe. Some speak foreign languages. Speaking a foreign language, they stay in the MTC for a month or so. If they are speaking English, they stay in the MTC for about three weeks. No matter how long the missionary spends in the MTC, all the boys are supposed to be out for two years.

In my last year at BYU, I have made many amazing friends. A lot of those friends are guys. So, many of my closest friends (including my best friend and my boyfriend) are leaving/ have left. It might sound strange to people outside of our faith. Young men, having no contact except letters for their entire two years... all over the world... preaching our religion. However, I believe it is one of the greatest acts of service that anyone can do. These boys pay to go on their missions, and they serve others for two years of their lives.

I am so grateful for the missionaries. They brought my dad’s side of the family to the gospel. if it weren’t for the missionaries I might not be here! :) They also bring comfort and truth to countless people and change lives for the better.

I want everyone to know how much I love this church, and how grateful I am for missionary work. The gospel is amazing. I would not be where I am today without it. It is so comforting to me that I am never alone. Not only do I have other church members, but I have, God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. No matter what I do, or what others try to do to me, I will always have Jesus Christ. The gospel has helped me through many hard times in my life, and I know that it can change lives.

Finally, I just want to tell all my guy friends especially Josh Prince and Kurt Hanson how proud I am of them for their decisions to serve missions. Josh is going to Ukraine and speaking Russian, and Kurt is going to the Seattle, Washington Mission. I am so proud of you guys. You both have touched my life in so many ways. I will not be the same without you. I will miss you both so much, and I will be praying for you. Kurt will report on August 19, 2009 and Josh reports August 26, 2009. God Speed, Elders!

So, if you ever find yourself having a hard time or you need some questions answered. Let these wonderful missionaries come and talk with you. They are inspired by God and they can help. Also remember, these guys are my friends, neighbors, and classmates. They’re cool guys. :-) You’ll like them.

For further Information on the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints please go to LDS.org or Mormon.org or just ask me! :D

STOP. Dollar time!

To beat the heat, my sisters and I hit the dollar store. I bought my normal haul of sugar while Lar and Liz looked for a toy. They sure did find toys. :)

Laura found some fun pictures that taught her about the "Happy Horse" and how cows go "Moo!"

I found some new and very stylish sunglasses. ;-)

Liz found her toy...but then Laura found this doll. We called it gangster baby... "What you lookin' at fool?!"

It reminds me of the hand gestures and facial expressions of a guest that a team member helped at Target. He kept talking about his "beat machine" and making this face and movement.

Ah, summer.

Every dog has his day

So, I was picking up Laura from something, and I brough our dog along. I was listening to the music Josh sent me and it made me smile and laugh. However, my dog... not so much...

Sympathizing with a Clam

"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”

I am certainly not as happy as a clam right now.  Things have been bugging me left and right, and I have tried to fix them quickly. Recently, a friend told me to just sit and wait.  I had to take one of my headphones out and stop rapidly typing emails.  I asked him to repeat himself.  He replied that being patient was the best thing for me to do.  He said that if I feel like being patient, to just sit and wait... or to run.  Either way would work.

It occurred to me that I am not a patient person. I do not look that long before I leap, and I live for the moment. My mom used to tell me that I needed to think longer and harder; I needed to not just go "Splat! Oh well, it's done." 

I hate waiting for an important piece of mail to come; I hated waiting for my driver's license; Christmas can be torture if my parents are trying to surprise me. It is ESPECIALLY hard for me to wait for someone to be ready to talk and express themselves. Sometimes I get carried away in trying to resolve things or in expressing myself... because I AM ready to not be worried about the problem.  

I think a big reason for my impatience is that worries and problems feel like they are all my fault when in fact they are not my fault.  Even if the worry or problem is out of my control, it irritates me.  I feel like a clam with a small grain of sand inside of my shell, and I want it OUT NOW. 

In thinking over my current dilemmas, I see the need for patience and understanding on my side...even if I feel like other parties are being unreasonable, and not seeing how much I love and care... how much I am sacrificing...how much I am putting my heart out in the open (this is against my nature.) The friend said I could wait and be patient... or run. He said to wait if I cared or to run if it was not that important.  I have slowed down for once, and I realize the need for patience. I will not run and go "splat."

As much as the grain of sand inside this clam's shell bothers her, it is essential to be patient.  You never know when that irritating piece of sand that won't stop rubbing you the wrong way, will result in a beautiful pearl. 

When Your Hut's on Fire

My dad sent me this, and it made me cry.  I wanted to pass this on to anyone who might need this right now.

When Your Hut's On Fire  

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. 

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. 

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, 'God! How could you do this to me?' 

Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! 'How did you know I was here?' asked the weary man of his rescuers. 'We saw your smoke signal,' they replied.


The Moral of This Story:
It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground, it just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

The Benefit of the Doubt

Have you ever watched a corny chick flick, or maybe a TV show where the main character makes a huge mistake?  Namely mistakes with regards to friends, significant others, and family. And you sit there and yell at the tv screen because you see the irony. You see what both characters are dealing with... I know that it ties knots in my stomach. I think to myself: "if he/she could just see what the other is going through... they wouldn't give up on something they both want."

This is one reason I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  You never know when your actions might help or harm another.  That's why it is so important to keep an open mind, and if things don't always go as planned... sometimes you show how much you care by holding on and being there for that person.

We all express ourselves in different ways.  Next time you think to judge another, keep in mind that they might be having problems that only the know about.  We're all in this world to be tested.  Sometimes life gets hard... we can all agree with that.  It's important to remember our hard times, and to look at someone and not judge their shortcomings. Remember: The worth of souls is great in the sight of the Lord.

This poem is a little off topic. However, I love it, and it fits pretty well.

The Touch Of The Master's Hand

Myra B. Welch

 Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer

thought it scarcely worth his while

To waste much time on the old violin,

But held it up with a smile.

"What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,

"Who'll start the bidding for me?

A dollar, a dollar, then, two! Only two?

Two dollars, and who'll make it three?

Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;

Going for three . . ." 

But no,

From the room, far back, a grey-haired man

Came forward and picked up the bow;

Then, wiping the dust from the old violin,

And tightening the loose strings,

He played a melody pure and sweet

As a caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer,

With a voice that was quiet and low, said: 

"What am I bid for the old violin?"

And he held it up with the bow.

"A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two?

"Two thousand! And who'll make it three?

"Three thousand, once; three thousand, twice;

And going and gone."said he.

The people cheered, but some of them cried,

"We do not quite understand, what changed its worth?" 

Swift came the reply:

"The Touch Of The Master's Hand."

And many a man with life out of tune,

And battered and scarred with sin,

Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,

Much like the old violin.

A 'mess of potage,' a glass of wine;

A game - and he travels on.

He is 'going' once, and 'going' twice,

He's 'going' and almost 'gone'.

But the Master comes and the foolish crowd

Never can quite understand

The worth of a soul and the change that's wrought

By the touch of the Master's Hand.

A Work in Progress...

Recently, I've had a lot of time to think.  It is amazing how much a walk, a good song, or a quote can change how you think about something. 

Today in church we talked about how grateful we need to be for what we have.  

I know this:

I have always wanted to be independent; Moving away from home was the perfect opportunity to be independent and learn more about myself. 

I have learned:

How to do my laundry without  messing up the colors of my clothes.

Drinking soda every day will make me sick.

I need to sleep.

Making your own decisions isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Big jackets and hot chocolate are MUSTS in the snow.

Ice is evil and will cause you to get large bruises if you fall.

Microwavable food is amazing.

Friends are your family away from home.

It's easier to see who your true friends are.

I love my family so much

I have ALWAYS loved my family, but I never appreciated all of the nice things that my mom and dad did for me. I also miss Laura going through my closet before seminary... and singing at the tops of our lungs to whatever was on the radio. I miss when I would be sad... and Lizzie would come find me...no matter how much I wanted to be alone.  She'd bring me tissues and band-aids...even if I didn't have any cuts. :-)  I guess that growing up means understanding how much you love and appreciate your family. I like to think that I appreciate them now.  I don't appreciate them enough, but I know I appreciate them more than ever.

Time has flown by, and March is upon us.  Today, we also discussed how we need to  appreciate every moment we have.  Every minute we waste being unhappy or ungrateful is time we will never get back. We discussed the talk "Finding Joy in the Journey" and it mentioned this quote:

"Pile up too many tomorrows and you'll find that you've collected nothing but a bunch of empty yesterdays." 

-The Music Man

I am a work in progress, but I've decided to try and appreciate every moment I have. I'm not going to rush to grow up or to be too independent... or I just might end up with a bunch of empty yesterdays.