Sympathizing with a Clam

"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”

I am certainly not as happy as a clam right now.  Things have been bugging me left and right, and I have tried to fix them quickly. Recently, a friend told me to just sit and wait.  I had to take one of my headphones out and stop rapidly typing emails.  I asked him to repeat himself.  He replied that being patient was the best thing for me to do.  He said that if I feel like being patient, to just sit and wait... or to run.  Either way would work.

It occurred to me that I am not a patient person. I do not look that long before I leap, and I live for the moment. My mom used to tell me that I needed to think longer and harder; I needed to not just go "Splat! Oh well, it's done." 

I hate waiting for an important piece of mail to come; I hated waiting for my driver's license; Christmas can be torture if my parents are trying to surprise me. It is ESPECIALLY hard for me to wait for someone to be ready to talk and express themselves. Sometimes I get carried away in trying to resolve things or in expressing myself... because I AM ready to not be worried about the problem.  

I think a big reason for my impatience is that worries and problems feel like they are all my fault when in fact they are not my fault.  Even if the worry or problem is out of my control, it irritates me.  I feel like a clam with a small grain of sand inside of my shell, and I want it OUT NOW. 

In thinking over my current dilemmas, I see the need for patience and understanding on my side...even if I feel like other parties are being unreasonable, and not seeing how much I love and care... how much I am sacrificing...how much I am putting my heart out in the open (this is against my nature.) The friend said I could wait and be patient... or run. He said to wait if I cared or to run if it was not that important.  I have slowed down for once, and I realize the need for patience. I will not run and go "splat."

As much as the grain of sand inside this clam's shell bothers her, it is essential to be patient.  You never know when that irritating piece of sand that won't stop rubbing you the wrong way, will result in a beautiful pearl.